The Lesser of Two Evils
by maureenz33
Summary: During what seemed like the X-men's last stand with Apocalypse, he takes over Scott. The X-men are left with the choice, do they defeat Apocalypse and destroy Scott Summers in the process or do they let Apocalypse and Scott live? Slightly AU. Jott
1. Chapter 1

Spoilers: This story is au, so I am going to say none.

Warnings: The usual. There is mild language, violence, and adult themes. It is teen to be on the safe side.

Couples: It is a very heavy Jott story. There is also mention of Rogue/Bobby and Logan/Ororo. It talks about past relationships such as Scott/Emma and Jean/Logan.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. If I did Scott and Jean would still be together, and Emma would have never existed.

Author's Note: This was an idea I came up with after reading a summary of the Apocalypse arc. Some elements have stayed the same, but many have changed so that is why this story is classified as an AU one. This story was originally going to be the ending of one that I abandoned, but I decided to rewrite it as a stand-alone and put it up here. Due to the fact that the story is already finished reviewers cannot have any input into the plot, however I would love to hear what you think of it so far. Constructive criticism is welcomed; I can't get any better unless you tell me what I am doing wrong. Enjoy!

Background: The X-men have been trying to locate and destroy Apocalypse for the better part of a year now, without much success. During this same time Jean cheated on her longtime boyfriend Scott with Logan. After Scott found out he cheated on Jean with Emma in order seek revenge. Scott and Jean soon broke up. Scott had a relationship with Emma and Jean had one with Logan. However, things get very complicated when a man comes back from the future claiming to be Scott and Jean's son. This causes Scott and Jean to break up with their respective partners and get back together. Soon after the X-men are tipped off to Apocalypse's location, which is where our story begins.

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Chapter 1

"Let go of my son," Scott Summers told Apocalypse as they both stood in the battlefield with carnage and destruction all around them.

"Dad, don't!" Cable shouted, his psychic trance starting to break.

Apocalypse chuckled. "Now you tell me why I would do that."

Scott spoke his expression unchanging, "because you can have me instead."

Cable turned, now fully lucid. "No, Dad!" Scott didn't move. "You can't!"

"Deal," Apocalypse told him. His voice still contained a hint of its previous humor.

"No take me!" Cable shouted back at him. "Take me!" He pleaded.

"Nate, go!" Scott shouted as he started to feel himself grow weaker.

"No!" Cable tried to block Apocalypse from getting any closer to his father, but he just tossed him out of the way. "Take me instead," he whispered defeated.

Scott could feel the life being drained out of him as Apocalypse drew closer. He swayed slightly, but quickly corrected himself. "Nate, get out of here now. That was an order! Leave now!" Scott looked at him. Every cell in Scott's body that wasn't fighting Apocalypse was willing him to leave before Apocalypse changed his mind. Scott could handle letting himself being taken over, however, he could not watch it happen to his son.

Cable left realizing that he could do nothing more, and returned back to the X-men's base camp.

As soon as Cable was out of view, Scott swayed one last time and finally collapsed. He curled up on the ground clutching his hands to his forehead. It felt as if his brain was in fire inside his skull, and it would break through at any moment.

"Lovely feeling, isn't it, having your body taken over?" Apocalypse mused. Scott glared at him though his pain.

Cable walked a little over a mile back to the rest of the troops. Logan was the first to attack him for information, "Cable, we're trying to clear out, did you see anything over to the east?" Logan questioned.

Cable, still in a haze, answered, "I saw a few strays on my way back, but I spent most of my time to the south." His answer was mechanical as his eyes failed to meet Wolverine's.

"Rogue, you and Bobby go check out the East. The radio transmitters aren't working well out here. Tell the others you see to pull it back."

Logan turned back to Cable. His head still faced down. Something wasn't right. "What aren't you telling me?" Logan questioned. Cable was silent. "More people could die if you don't tell me what's going on this instant."

"Apocalypse was about a mile to the south west 20 minutes ago," Cable told them, his eyes still glued to the ground.

"Why didn't you stay over there?" Wolverine question.

"Cyclops told me to leave," he said simply.

"And you listened to him?" Logan questioned. Cable nodded. "You idiot! Take Jean, go back over there, and drag his sorry butt back here. I'd rather have him kicking and screaming over here than doing God knows what with Apocalypse."

"No," Cable told him.

"What did you just say?" Logan questioned as he turned back back towards Cable.

"I said no," Cable answered him again, this time with more confidence.

"I heard you the first time. Do you have a death wish, or is there some other reason why you refuse to follow my orders?" Logan asked him.

"Scott, gave himself to Apocalypse for me. The least I can do is try to stay alive," Cable told Logan.

"What do you mean 'Scott gave himself to Apocalypse?'" Logan asked.

"I was fighting Apocalypse when he started to take me over. He needed a new host body and he knew it. Before our psychic link was complete Dad interrupted us. He told Apocalypse to take over him instead of me," Cable explained.

Logan sighed. At that moment Jean finally noticed that Cable was back to the base. "Scott went out looking for you, did he find you?" she asked.

Cable looked over to Logan. He started to walk away, "I ain't telling her. That's your job."

Jean looked from Logan to Cable. "Tell me what?" she asked. Cable sighed, and looked at her pleadingly. "If you don't tell me then I'm just going to assume the worst," she told him.

"Mom, it is the worst," he told her.

Jean stumbled back, slightly in shock. "He's dead?" she asked slightly dumbfounded. "He's not dead. He can't be dead."

"He's not dead," Cable told her. She breathed a sigh of relief. "But he might as well be."

"What do you mean?"

Cable sighed. He _really_ didn't want to have to tell her what happened. This was his punishment for not stopping his father. He had to relive it over and over again. "Dad did find me. I was trying to fight off Apocalypse, but he had started to form a mind link with me. I'm fine now," Cable answered before she could ask if he was all right. "but Dad told Apocalypse to take him instead of me. Apocalypse listened."

"Did he succeed? Did Apocalypse take over Scott?" Jean asked him.

"I don't know, I didn't stay long enough to find out."

"So you just ran?!" Jean questioned him. "You didn't try to help the man who just saved your life?"

"He told me to leave, so I did. I listened to my orders," he told her.

"You should have stayed, and helped him. It might not have worked, you know. Psychic links don't always work. And if his old host was weak enough that he needed a new one we could have beaten him. We could have stopped Apocalypse. I'm going to go find Scott," she told Cable as she started to walk in the opposite direction.

"No you're not," said Logan as he placed his body directly in front of hers.

"Yes, Logan, I am," she informed him as she maneuvered past him.

"Jean, Scott's gone," Logan told her.

"There's a chance he's all right."

"Oh, all right, there's a chance he's not already dead," Logan acknowledged. Jean's composure was starting to fail. "If he's not, chances are Apocalypse has already taken him over. What are you going to do then?" Jean was silent. "Hmmm? What are you going to do then Jean?"

"I don't know," she told him truthfully.

"Exactly, and…" Logan's voice trailed off when he realized that Jean was no longer paying attention to him. "What are you looking at?" he asked her.

"There's something moving over there," Jean said. The figure grew closer and Jean was able to recognize it as Scott. She ran past Logan to him, completely disregarding Logan's protests.

When she reached him she stopped and looked at him for a moment. He was the same Scott that she knew. He didn't look any different. He didn't seem any different. He looked like the same exact man she has known for the past two decades. "You look fine. Cable said you were….but that doesn't matter now because you look fine," she said smiling.

"I'm not fine, Jean," Scott told her as he toppled over. Jean caught him. However, he then proceeded to pick himself up, and bush the dirt off his uniform.

Scott chuckled slightly, and pushed her aside. "I always get a kick out of this part. A real winner you got in here Jean. He's a _real_ fighter," he mocked.

Jean mouthed the word "Apocalypse" as the man formerly known as Scott walked towards the base camp. Before he could get more than a couple hundred feet he swayed and clutched his forehead in pain.

"Get out!" he screamed.

Others rushed to him, some trying to help Scott and others trying to aprehend Apocalypse. Jean just watched as he life fell apart before her eyes.

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Thanks for reading. Please review! Hopefully the next chapter will be up by next week.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men.

Next chapter should be up sometime next week.

Please review

Chapter 2

The next hour was a blur to Jean. She remembered getting on the jet, and having to sedate Scott, but not much after that. It was right after dinner when Jean, Scott, Bobby, and Kitty finally arrived back at the mansion. The others offered their help, but Jean wheeled a barely conscious Scott into the infirmary and helped him onto the bed by herself. When Jean turned to put the wheelchair back in the corner of the room, she saw Hank standing in the doorway. She singled for Hank to follow her out of the room so they could speak.

"I have to go talk to the Professor and Hank, I'll be back as soon as I can," she told him. He groggily nodded and laid back on his pillow.

Jean left the room and closed the door before Hank started to speak. "What's wrong with Scott?" he asked

"We had to sedate him to get him on the plane. It's wearing off now," Jean told him, her mind still hazy from the events of today.

"Why did you have to sedate Scott, and why are you the only two came back?" Hank asked.

"We're not, Kitty and Bobby took off as soon as we landed to go back and help clean up." Jean anticipated his next question and said, "For the most part everyone is fine, just some cuts and bruises. We were very lucky out there. Scott got the worst of it."

"That brings me back to my first question, Jean, what is wrong with Scott?" Hank asked again.

Jean looked at him almost begging him to not make her answer. The numbness of the situation was wearing off, and now there was only pain. "We found Apocalypse, or rather Cable did. They fought, but apparently Apocalypse's host was growing weaker. Apocalypse decided that Cable would be a good replacement." At this point Hank's mouth fell slightly open.

"I'm so sorry Jean," Hank told her. Then he looked back in the room and was slightly confused.

"Unfortunately I'm not done yet," she told him. "Apocalypse had almost fully taken over Cable when Scott found them." Hank's former look of confusion now turned to one of pity and sadness. "Scott told Apocalypse to take him instead of Cable." Jean sighed for a moment, fighting the tears that wanted to come out, "So he did," she finally said, her voice cracking slightly. "I don't know what to do Hank. Scott's in there, but so is Apocalypse. I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."

Hank took a deep breath and processed the situation for a moment. "You need to talk to Charles, he'll have a better idea of what the next step should be. In the meantime, I shall place Scott on the necessary medications to keep him drowsy to insure that Apocalypse is as inactive as he possibly can be at this point."

Jean nodded and whispered, "Thank you, Hank." She walked down the hall and up the stairs to the Professor's office.

Jean again explained the situation to the Professor. He was silent for several minutes, and then looked up at her.

"I'm so sorry Jean," was all that the Professor said.

"We just need a way to fix this," Jean said calmly. "Everything will be fine as long as we can figure out some way to get rid of Apocalypse. I don't want your apologies Professor; I need you to help me think of a solution," Jean offered.

"Jean, I am apologizing because I have thought of a solution," the Professor told her slowly. "Or rather, Scott has, and I am not seeing any other way."

"Okay, then, so what's the plan?" Jean asked the Professor.

He hesitated for a moment, and closed his eyes. Jean assumed he was communicating with Scott again. He opened his eyes and spoke, "Apocalypse cannot live if he does not have a host body to live in." The Professor paused waiting for Jean's reaction.

"How do we pull Apocalypse's mind from Scott's body?" Jean asked.

"We don't."

It took Jean a moment to figure out what the Professor was trying to say as delicately as he could. They were going to kill Scott to get rid of Apocalypse. That was the plan.

Jean's immediate reaction was disbelief that the Professor would even utter such a thought, then it turned to anger. "No!"

"Jean, please…"

"No! It's ridiculous. Professor, I already feel like I'm caught in some nightmare right now, and this just solidified it. How could you of all people censor an action like that?" Jean questioned him.

"I don't see any other way, Jean. You know I would tell you if I could. Even Scott doesn't see any other way."

"Scott is coming off the most powerful sedative I have right now. He's not being rational. He is in nowhere near the mental capacity required to make decisions like this." The Professor didn't speak. "We can't just kill him. It's…It's just not right."

The Professor paused a moment to try to find the words he was looking for. "Jean, you know as well as I do, as well as Scott does, that there are dangers that come with being an X-men."

"Yes, but being killed by your own people should not be one of them," she retorted. Both were looking at each other, when Jean finally broke the silence by asking, "Isn't there any other way?"

"Not that I can see, Jean," he told her sadly.

"Can't you think it over?" she asked him. "Can you sleep on it?"

"Jean, you and I both know that I won't have a different answer in the morning. This is the only feasible way to handle this situation."

"Professor, asking me to watch my boyfriend die is not a feasible solution," she told him as she left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I apologize for the long break between chapters, but the next few chapters will be up this week. For the last month I've been swamped with school work, however now I am free for the summer. As always please review. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men.

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Chapter 3

Jean left the Professor's office, still feeling as if there were some glimmer of hope. She felt that Scott could still pull though. She still felt that happiness was achievable.

She knew that the Professor was most likely correct. His solution would work, but Jean would never admit that. She knew that once she admitted that the Professor was right she destroyed any hope of saving Scott, and that was something that Jean would never do.

Jean walked back to the infirmary, however Hank stopped her before she could enter the doors. "Jean, you don't want to go in there," he told her. He closed the door quickly behind himself, but Jean could hear Scott screaming in pain alternating with Apocalypse using every expletive known to man at Hank. "Come back tomorrow morning."

"Hank, I'll be fine,"Jean told him.

"Jean, you really do not want to go in there. He's…he's not himself right now. Come back in the morning. He should be better by then."

Jean didn't want to give up that quickly, but part of her did not want to see Scott in this state. Even though he was not truly Scott, Apocalypse still looked like him, still sounded like him, and still had Scott's command over her heart and emotions. She was afraid to see Scott in this state, as much as Jean hated to admit it. "All right, I'm be back tomorrow morning."

Jean walked back up to her room, feeling guilty, but did not regret her decision. She received hardly an hours sleep that night, but she was still in the kitchen at quarter to six making her coffee.

She poured the liquid into the mug, sipped it, and remembered that today was the day that Scott's fate would be determined. She took a larger gulp. The Professor would do anything to keep Scott or any of his X-men alive, but was the possibility of finally defeating Apocalypse to tempting for him to think it through? "He's going to be fine," Jean whispered to herself as she took another sip. "He's going to be fine. He going to be fine," she chanted. She desperately tried to believe her own words. She needed to believe that Scott still had a chance.

She decided to find out now, rather than torture herself for the next few hours over this matter. Her feet took her past the infirmary. She couldn't help but to look in the window. Scott gave her a small smile, but Jean saddened. She abandoned him last night. When he needed her most, she left him to fight alone. What kind of person does that? She's a coward. He should hate her right now, but there he was smiling at her through the window. She promised herself that she would never leave him again, but for all she knew it could be too late. Jean returned a small smile. It almost pained her to even pretend to be happy at a time like this, but she did it anyway. Scott deserved that at least.

The elevator door down the hall suddenly opened and Storm dragged herself out. Jean walked towards her. "I'm going to sleep for a year after this is all done," she yawned.

"You just got back from the field? How do things look out there?" Jean asked, trying to take her mind off of the situation at home.

"Everyone but Logan and Bobby came back with me," she told her. "They're staying for the next couple hours to make sure no stray sentinels are left, but everything's calm out there. There really wasn't much left to do after Scott…well after he did what he did," Ororo told her. "How is he doing?"

"I don't know," Jean said truthfully. "I'm going to see the Professor right now to get that answer, but…I don't know."

"We're all praying for him Jean," she told her.

"Thank you, 'Ro. Now go get some rest before you pass out on me," Jean told her.

"I will do that."

Jean entered the elevator, and half of a minute later she was on the ground level of the mansion. She passed several people on her way to the briefing room. Some were prepping the jet to fly out again, others restocking their gear, and some just chatting with others about the mission; all were oblivious to the tidal wave of emotions Jean felt at this moment.

The Professor looked worse than Jean did. If Jean had only gotten an hour of sleep, he had received less. He was wearing the same suit that he wore last night, but it was now dirty and wrinkled. His eyes were sunken, and it looked like he had aged 10 years in one night.

"Is it morning already?" he asked her.

"The sun's about to rise," she informed him. "I couldn't sleep."

He sighed. "Neither could I." He paused. "I have consulted all of my friends, even Lilandra, and they all seem to come up with the same solution. I am afraid that it is the only solution I can come up with as well." Jean knew it pained him to say those words, probably as much as it pained her to hear them. She could physically feel the grief that was pouring out of him, but she still hated him. Scott was his favorite student, and the first X-men there was, but Jean still hated the man that was telling her that her boyfriend would be killed by his own people. "I think we should do it as soon as possible to minimize the risk of Apocalypse taking over."

"No!" she screamed. The Professor telekinetically closed the door behind her. "No I-!" she cried. She took a deep breath. The sadness in the room was palpable. She wished that she could fight him, she wished that she could tell him that he had to find another way, but she didn't. The air was already so heavy, she didn't wish to add to it and suffocate. The Professor still stared at her. She broke the gaze and looked at the ceiling. "We have to do this?" she asked him one last time.

"I cannot see any other way."

"Can we have a little bit longer?" she asked him, almost pleading.

"I do not think that would be wise."

"Please?" she begged. "I…I need more time."

He did not answer for several moments, but finally gave in. "All right yes, but, Jean, when I tell you it's time, it is time to let him go." He paused. "You and I both know what could happen if we wait to long." Jean turned to leave the room trying to keep her composure. "Jean you do realize this will just make everything harder."

_I know._

Jean walked the halls of the mansion looking for Cable. She couldn't face Scott, not yet, but she could speak to her son. She didn't know how to tell them, either of them, but they both deserved to know. Jean looked for almost an hour before she tried to contact him telepathically as a last resort. There was nothing. Jean's worst fear was confirmed. Her son doesn't exist anymore; he can't exist, not anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men.

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter, as always please review. There is a reference to Nathan's/Cable's past in this chapter. This past is closely related to the other X-men story I wrote "Living a Nightmare" and the aftermath of that story. I'm trying to get the chapters out quicker now, so expect the next one either tomorrow or Sunday.

Chapter 4

Jean walked slowly to the infirmary as she started what would become the longest day she would ever live. She tried to think of what she would say, but how do you tell someone that you love that they're going to die? It was one of those questions that you hoped you never needed to answer. Jean had done this so many times before when she worked in the hospital. It was different this time. This time the patient was Scott, not some random person off the street. Scott. She always felt bad when she had to tell any patient bad news, but now? Now it was tearing her apart.

After was seemed like hours, but in reality was only minutes Jean reached the infirmary door. She took a deep breath, then opened it. Jean walked quickly over to where Scott's chart was lying on the counter, and glanced over it. His stats were not as good as Jean had hoped for, but they were still decent; there had only been as slight decline since she brought him in last night. Then Jean saw the time stamp on the chart, it was from midnight last night.

She put his chart down and turned away from it, trying to put it out of her mind. His stats could still be that good, or close to it. She forced a smile when she looked at Scott, but could not have looked more wrecked.

"Sorry I wasn't here last night," Jean apologized while refilling his IV bag. The medication was mostly for show. Neither she nor Hank knew what to give him. Anything that would be beneficial to Scott would help Apocalypse, and anything that would hurt Apocalypse would also harm Scott. They were both counting on the placebo effect to work in their favor, to convince Scott he had to mental strength to fight Apocalypse, and to convince Apocalypse that they were doing everything in their power to stop him. Mostly the medications were just sleeping aids to keep both of them drowsy.

"You weren't?" Scott asked. "I didn't notice, must have fallen asleep right after you brought me in."

"Liar," she smiled. Scott said nothing. Jean always prided herself on knowing when Scott lied, even without her power she could tell that he could have used her here last night.

Jean ran through a list of symptoms with Scott. "Have you had any headaches?" she asked.

"Little ones here and there, but nothing major," he told her.

"Blackouts?" she asked.

"None, excluding last night when you brought me in."

"Dizziness?" she asked.

"Nothing much really," he told her.

She marked it all down on the chart and asked, "So how much sleep did you actually get last night?"

"I don't know, an hour, hour and a half," he admitted.

"I added another sedative to your medication, try to get some rest, I'll come back later."

Jean was about to walk out the door when Scott shouted, "You don't have to treat me like a child!" Jean turned around quickly, slightly shocked. "Sorry," Scott said much quieter, regaining his composure. "I didn't…I mean…Can you just tell me what the Professor decided to do?" he asked.

"He didn't decide anything yet," Jean lied.

"So he rejected my suggestion?" Scott questioned.

_Of course he didn't,_ Jean thought.

"Exactly," said Apocalypse through Scott. "He would _jump_ at the chance to get rid of me, and for Charles jumping is quite rare. But then again, who knows? Maybe having to off one of his _precious_ little X-men is just too much for the old man." Jean glared at him. "Or from the look on Red's face right about now the geezer does have the heart to kill you."

The smirk wiped off Scott's face. Jean watched it go from ecstatic to pained in only a second. She knew what was going through his head. The thought of death didn't truly hit him until now, and now that it was here it scared the crap out of him.

Scott shook his head as to get away a bad thought, and said, "Jean, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's okay" she told him, "I know it's not you," she said giving him a small smile, " and the Professor hasn't decided anything yet, but he's keeping the option open."

"Let me know when anything is decided," he told her. "Either way."

Jean nodded. "I have to go speak to Hank. Get some rest."

Jean left the room, but Scott couldn't sleep. Jean was a worse liar than he was. He knew that Apocalypse was right. The Professor had already decided, and he had reluctantly gone with Scott's idea. Jean was still in a state of denial, but he didn't have that luxury. Based on Jean's face as she talked to Hank, Scott had even less time than anyone had thought.

Scott wasn't suicidal. Yes, the plan had been his, but he didn't want to die. He wanted to marry Jean, have kids, send them to college, grow old, and have grand kids. He wanted to see his kids actually grow up, not just burst in from the future. Nathan had hinted to Scott before that he had been a terrible father. He wanted a chance to redo that. Scott wanted a chance to actually make up with Jean, not dancing around each other like they've been doing for the last couple of months. Yes, they were together now, but they weren't back to their old selves yet. He wanted that back. That spark, that magic that they use to have between them. He wanted that back. Scott listed so many things in his mind that he still wanted out of life, all of which were now doomed to never happen.

Scott knew the risks of his job. He knew that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to in order to benefit the greater good. This, unfortuantly was one of those times.

Jean walked out of the infirmary and into the lab where Hank was preparing the results for the tests he had just ran on Scott.

Hank turned away from the microscope as Jean came in. "You don't need to say a word, Jean. Charles already informed me of the situation. I'm so sorry. Are you all right doing this?" he asked her.

"Yeah, Hank, I'm fine," she dismissed, trying to look over his sholder into the microscope.

"Because you don't have to be here if you don't want to," he told her. "I am perfectly able to do everything myself."

"Where else would I be?" she asked him. "Scott needs me here. I already made that mistake once, I will not make it again."

"What I mean, Jean, is that you do not need to be here as a doctor," he corrected himself.

Jean thought about his offer for a moment, but shook her head. "I need something to keep me busy. I'm not one of those people who can just sit around and wait, you know me Hank. You know how bad I am at this kind of stuff. I need something to keep my mind off of everything or I will go insane," she told him. "Where are his stats?" she questioned him. "He doesn't look bad at all."

"I've ran all the tests I could think of, blood, EKG, oxygen, blood gas, the works basically. The main thing that we need to pay attention to is his brain activity. The higher it is the better. Once the activity hits 50% Apocalypse could take over at any moment, so that's when we will need to do it. "

"Stop stalling. Where is he right now? This test from midnight showed it at 95% so it shouldn't be that much lower now, right?"

"He's at 82% activity right now," Hank told her. Jean grabbed the desk, because she felt like she would topple over. It felt like the wind was knocked out of her, and her heart ripped out. "Jean?" he asked. She just stared blankly ahead. "He may look fine until he hits 60%, but..." Hank could tell that's not what she wanted to hear. "The next round of test shouldn't have that sharp of a drop. I was just checked Scott's white blood cell count, and right now they are multiplying exponentially. That's a very good thing. Scott's body is treating Apocalypse like an infection. He'll start to run a fever soon, but that's a good thing. It is slowing down the process drastically. I've added some medications to Scott's IV that will help slow it down. He could have longer than you think right now. Don't lose all hope," he told her. It didn't matter how much hope Jean had at this point. Scott only had hours, a day at the most. No amount of hope was going to save him from this horrible fate that would come too soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Sorry for being away for so long. My senior year was the most insane year I could have had. The good news is, however, that it is over. So enough with my excuses, here's the story. Chances are the next chapter will be out within the next week. I'm going to try to get the next chapters out quickly (no more years between chapters), but just a warning, I will be without internet and a computer for two weeks at the end of June/beginning of July.

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Chapter 5

Jean turned out of the lab and took a sharp left down the hall so she wouldn't have to walk past the window of the infirmary. There was no rhyme or reason to the hallways, turns and staircases she took, Jean just knew that she wanted to get as far away from that place as she possibly could. Every turn she took she picked up speed until finally she found an abandoned closet at the end of one hall. She opened the door, went inside, and promptly shut it behind her.

As soon as the door shut her emotions overcame her. She collapsed against the door, burying her head into her knees and let out more tears than one person should be able to produce. After several minutes of self-motivation Jean decided to get up and face Scott. She was going to have to face him sooner or later. They were going to have to actually talk sooner or later.

It was just then when Jean actually realized exactly where in the mansion she was. She was in the second floor broom closet. It was her and Scott's broom closet.

The door shut behind Jean when she hissed. "Scott, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" he asked her innocently.

"For the past week you keep…" she searched for the right word. "…looking at me." She paused for a moment. "Stop looking at me."

"You and Logan broke up," he commented casually taking a step towards her.

"Maybe," Jean replied taking a half step back. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Why?" he asked her. "Why did you break up with him?"

"This really isn't any of your business, Scott," Jean dismissed his question as she started to head for the door. Scott placed a hand on her shoulder. It was not forceful, it was barely a touch, but Jean felt the weight of the world on her in that instant. "What do you want from me Scott?" Jean asked her voice suddenly changing tone from anger to sadness in a matter of seconds.

"I just want to know why," he told her.

"So you can laugh at me?" Jean asked sadly. "So you can rub it in my face how happy you two still are? I already hear you two going at it every night. What more pain and suffering would you like to cause me? Are you two moving out, getting married, oh, I know, are you having little Mini-Frosts; that's exactly what this world needs."

"Jean," Scott said to stop this train of thought from proceeding any further.

"You already know the reason, Scott. Logan broke up with me because I'm still in love with you," Jean told him. With that Scott smiled at her. He caressed her cheek and pulled her into a kiss.

All time and space melted away. For a single moment all of reality melted away and everything else in the world besides Jean and Scott ceased to be. Then it was back again. Then Jean remembered.

"No," Jean said pulling away. "No," Jean repeated composing herself. "We can't do this, not again."

"Why not?" Scott asked, hiding the hurt in his voice.

"What about Emma?" Jean asked.

"What about her?" Scott asked.

"Scott," Jean sighed. "If we do this again. I'm not starting it off like this. It would be wrong."

"Emma and I broke up," Scott told her. " It's been almost a month now."

"Then why-"

Scott anticipated her question before Jean finished it. "Emma likes to put on a show," Scott answered smoothly. " I've been sleeping in the blackbird for a while now." Jean tried to hide her smile.

"Scott, if this is some practical joke or some form of revenge…" Jean started.

"It's not, I can assure you its not," Scott told her. "Read my mind. I am your open book. The last thing I even want to do is hurt you again, and, if you'll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life making up for the last time I did."

Jean smiled at the memory, but at the same time was struck by a wave of sadness. Her and Scott would never have that again. That spark, that magic, it was all about to fade away, never to be seen again. It didn't seem fair. It didn't seem right. Jean had just gotten him back only to have him ripped away again. It was like someone was playing a cruel joke on her. Every time Jean thought happiness was in her reach, something goes horribly wrong and it disappears, not to be seen again.

Why did she cheat on Scott? That event is what started everything. If she never slept with Logan, her and Scott could have had almost another year. They could be married by now. They could be having kids by now. But no, Jean had to make the biggest mistake of her life. She had to go into Logan's room that night. She had to give into temptation. She even knew then that she was making a mistake. Why did she keep making it?

Jean stood in the store room leaning against the door regretting so many things she had done over the years and regretting the many things that she has yet to do, which now she would never get the chance. Jean turned her head slightly and saw the dent in the wall that was left in here by the two when they were teenagers. It was back before the Professor even considered letting Jean and Scott or any of the X-men moving in together. Back then Jean and Scott's relationship consisted of sneaking around between bedrooms and broom closets. Jean smiled again realizing that there probably wasn't a room in the mansion that she could go into that didn't have some sort of history between the two lovers.

With that smile, Jean decided to finally venture back to the infirmary and to face her anxiety. Scott did not have much time left. Hank was lying to Jean, but she thanked him for it. While the excess white blood cells might slow down the process slightly, they wouldn't give Scott any substantial amount of extra time.

Without going more than ten feet Jean wanted to crawl back into the closet she just exited. "Hey, Red," a voice called her. Jean didn't turn around, but stiffened and all of her prior conviction had left her. "What's wrong?" Logan asked. Jean turned slightly and Logan could sense the tension building between them. "Is it something I did?" he asked.

"No," Jean told him. "No, I just wasn't expecting to see you back so soon. 'Ro said you wouldn't be back for a couple hours, but…" She stopped herself. "Glad your back Logan." She started to turn away from him.

"Yeah, there wasn't much left to do after Scott-" he stopped himself mid sentence after the ghost of a smile had completely left her face. "Sentinels were too scared to fight without Apocalypse backing them up. Drake and I had an easy time cleaning the place up." Jean nodded mindlessly, and mumbled a few words. She turned away again from him. " Did you hear, the Pres-"

"What do you want from me Logan, just say it. Because obviously you're not going to let me leave until you do," Jean told him.

"You're about to snap," he told her.

"I already have," she told him. "Can't you see my face?"

"Then you are going to again. I know you."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Logan. I really appreciate it," Jean added with a dark humor.

"It's not anything against you, I just know you too well," he told her.

"Sometimes I wish you didn't," she told him absentmindedly.

"I know you do," he sighed.

Jean realized the meaning behind her words, and looked away for a moment. "I hate working here," she told him, still looking down the hall. "I hate working here. I hate being responsible for everyone. I used to love being a doctor, but now..."She paused for a moment, and looked up at him. "I hate working here because if anything happens to any of you, it's my fault. When Rogue gets a nose bleed I feel guilty, or when Bobby got stitches last week, or..."She paused again. "If I feel guilty from all those small events, how am I suppose to survive this?"

"You will," he said. "You will." He heard footsteps down the hall for a moment and looked to see who they belonged to, but the person turned the other way before crossing Logan's line of sight. He looked back to Jean again, whose eyes were welling up with tears again, as she to stared down the hall. "Jean?" Logan asked, trying to get her out of her trance. She turned towards him again, her expression unchanging. "Every thing will be okay, you hear me? Scott's going to be fine, you and he will live-"

Jean tried to hide her reaction. She really did. How could Logan have known? He wasn't here. No one told him.

"What did I say?" Logan asked. "I said something wrong. What did I say?"

"Scott's not going to be all right Logan," Jean told him trying to keep her voice as steady as possible, even though it was killing her to say these words.

"Don't say that, Red, I know things look bad now, but you know Cyke, he'll be fine," Logan tried to comfort her.

"No Logan, you don't understand what I'm saying. Scott will not be okay," Jean told Logan. He still didn't get it. "In order to get rid of Apocalypse, we have to..." she couldn't say it. She would have to watch it happen in a couple of hours, but right now she couldn't even say it. "Apocalypse can't live without a host." She hated herself for reusing The Professor's words, but they worked judging by the expression on Logan's face.

"Is there anything he could take, or anything you could give him that would help?" Logan asked.

"No," Jean told him. "That's what I hate most about the situation. I'm helpless, and I can't do anything about it. Anything we would give Scott to help him would just end up helping Apocalypse grow stronger. Anything we gave him to hurt Apocalypse would just end up hurting Scott. The man I love is going to die and I can't do anything about it. I really hate this."

It was not often one saw emotion on Logan's face. In Jean's memory it hasn't happened before, but for a moment, she could see grief in his eyes. Scott and Logan had been friends before this entire ordeal had happened. Jean forgot about that until this moment.

"I, uh...have to go..." Logan stammered after a moment.

"It's okay," Jean told him. "I understand. I have to be getting back to the infirmary now anyway. Thanks for the talk Logan."

He gave her a small smile, nodded, and turned to leave, leaving Jean alone in the hallway. She knew that this was a feeling she should get used to.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did I wouldn't be the poor college student I am now.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, my computer with all my documents decided to die shortly after I updated the previous chapter and remained in that state for a couple of months. However, I was able to salvage all my documents so everything is right in the world. I'm in college now, so I don't know when I'll be able to update, but chapter 7 should come pretty soon since I've already began it. As always, please review and enjoy!

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Chapter 6

As Jean walked back to the infirmary, she couldn't help but stop in front of the large bay window and watch the children below. They all looked so happy. Kitty and John played a game of basketball, while Rogue sat underneath the shade of a tree reading a book. All had smiles across their faces. Jubilee refereed a game of tag between some of the younger children, while Ororo received a much needed nap while lying in the sun. Not one person seemed to have a care in the world. To them the storm was over, they were allowed to be happy and careless and free again. Jean started to smile at the sight, but then mentally chastised herself when she realized what she was doing. Scott was in the infirmary dying, but she was here watching others have fun. This was supposed to be the worst day of her life, but here she was smiling.

Jean pulled herself away from the window, wiping those thoughts from her mind, and quickly walked back to the infirmary. Scott gave her a half smile when he saw her through the window. She smiled back at him, but then had to turn away. She knew today was going to be tough. She knew it was going to hurt, but never in her wildest dreams did she imagine it would be this painful.

"Jean?" a voice called from her down the hall.

"Yes?" she answered, attempting to make herself appear as presentable as possible under the given circumstances.

"You asked me last week to come back today," Bobby told her as he ran up to her out of breath. It seems that he just came from the basketball game outside. "You said you wanted to check out my stitches to make sure they were healing properly." He could see Jean trying to hide the look of confusion in her eyes so he added, "You told me to come at noon, but I can come back later you want."

"No, it's fine I can..."She told him, her voice trailing off.

"Jean, I can examine Robert's stitches if you wish," Hank told them as he closed the door behind him to the infirmary. "From there I can finish running Scott's results."

Jean nodded, "Thank you, Hank." As she entered the room she walked over to the coffeepot. It was only lunchtime, but it felt as if she had been up for days. It was only her and Scott now in the room, eventually they would have to speak.

"The adulterous bitch is putting up a good show for you four eyes. You really found yourself a keeper in this one." Jean knew it was Apocalypse speaking. She knew Scott would never say those things to her, but hearing it said in Scott's voice...

"So Red, how long are you going to wait after this miserable piece of flesh dies? A couple of hours, or do you think you'll make yourself wait an entire day before screwing Wolverine out of respect for the dead?" Jean still couldn't look at him. The coffee had finished brewing, but as she poured it into her mug he added, "Well I can smell him on you, so maybe you couldn't even wait that long."

She was about to collapse. Every part of her wanted to run out of the room until this was all over. Apocalypse knew exactly what buttons of her's to push. He was in Scott's mind, so he knew everything that Scott did. Jean tried to push the thought out of her mind, but part of her knew those words were not entirely Apocalypse's creation. She knew that the words originated from Scott's mind, whether consciously or not, they were still there.

"Jean..." Scott started. She could her the anguish in his voice.

Jean turned around with her mug and gave him a small smile. "It's okay, I know it's not you. You don't have to apologize for what he-"

"I'm so sorry Jean," he told her. She was relieved to hear him say that. "Whatever he says to you, it's not me. Please know that. None of it is me, not one single part." She smiled at him. Jean knew that she was the telepath in the relationship, but sometimes it seemed as if Scott could read her mind as well as she could read his.

A genuine smile flashed across her face. "I know." She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. "Scoot over." He obeyed. Jean took off her shoes and lifted her feet up onto the bed.

"Jean?" he questioned.

"I couldn't sleep at all last night," she admitted. "It felt wrong not having you next to me."

"I'm exhausted," he admitted. "I haven't really slept in...three days I think it is now? But I didn't want to sleep now that..." his voice trailed off, but both knew exactly what he was going to say.

"So now neither of us will feel guilty," Jean said. "See, problem solved." She gestured to the both of them in bed. " We are sleeping...together."

"Not in the sense that it's usually used, but I'll take it," he smiled at her.

"Well we could do that too, but we should probably close the blinds first," Jean laughed.

It took only moments for the overtired lovers to fall asleep in eachother's arms. Scott woke up what must have been a couple hours later to Jean's face smiling at him. "'Morning sleepy head," she greeted him.

"I was just following doctor's orders," he smiled back at her. "How long have you been up?" he asked.

"Not long, maybe twenty minutes or so." She paused. "I never noticed it before, but you snore in your sleep. Quite loudly I might add," she teased. Jean sat back up and put her shoes back on. " I have to go back to being a grown up now." She kissed him on the forehead as she stood back up.

"This was fun," Scott laughed. " We should do it again sometime." As soon as he finished speaking he realized the error in his words. He looked up at her. Jean tried to hide the pain on her face, but he could still tell it was there.

"I have to go run the results, and get some food," Jean told him. "Do you want anything?" Scott shook his head as Jean went into the lab.

He tried not to look. Jean would tell him what he needed to know when he needed to know it. However, his curiosity got the best of him. When she pulled the results out of the machine, her expression worsened. She started to write the readout onto his chart, but she couldn't bring herself to finish it. She threw the results in the trash, and reran the sample. She took a deep breath before getting up and exiting the lab back into the infirmary.

"Bad?" he asked.

"Probably a computer error," Jean shrugged. "I've been telling Charles for months that we need to get new equipment in there. It's malfunctioning all the time."

"And if it's not?" Scott asked.

Jean sighed. "Then yeah, it's bad."

Scott swallowed hard. "When?" Scott asked. He tried to make his voice sound mechanical, emotionless, but even he couldn't hide the fear behind it.

"Whenever the Professor says we have to," Jean told him. All the pretenses were gone. There was no use pretending anymore.

"How much longer do you think?" he reworded.

"I honestly don't know," Jean told him. "It looked really good this afternoon, but now your stats are falling faster. It depends if they level out again or not."

"What's the 'or not' scenario?" Scott asked.

"Late tonight, maybe early in the morning tomorrow. If your stats do level out, it could be as late as tomorrow afternoon," Jean told him trying to give him a bit of hope. Scott didn't react. "We won't do it any sooner than we have to," she told him.

"You better not try to hold them up. I'm doing this so we can finally stop the bastard. I'm not going to let the son of a bitch use me as a host to do his bidding. If it comes to that I'll do it myself," he warned her.

"Charles and Hank know what their doing," she told him.

"They better," Scott told her. They were both silent for a moment. "Will it hurt?" he asked her. Before it was Cyclops, fearless leader of the X-men asking her the questions, but this was Scott. It almost physically hurt Jean to hear the vulnerability in his voice.

The question surprised Jean. She didn't even want to think about it until she absolutely had to, but screw her own emotions; Scott needed to know."No, not at all," she told him. "I think Hank decided to use morphine, which is a pain killer. It should feel like you're falling asleep."

The machine in the lab beeped, and Jean ran over to the door to go check the results. From the expression on her face they were the same or worse than before. As she wrote the numbers on the chart she looked up at Scott, but after a few moments she forced herself to look back down at her work.

After about ten minutes Jean walked from the lab to the infirmary door without stopping to say anything to Scott. Jean walked quickly, but took the long route down to the dining hall so she had time to clear her head before she had to face everyone down stairs. The news of Scott's fate had inevitably traveled around to the students by this point. She couldn't deal with the looks and the words of sympathy when he wasn't even gone yet. Charles, Hank, and Logan all knew Jean enough to leave her alone, but the students didn't. Jean had to make it look like she was okay even if she was the furthest possible state away.

Jean passed by the bay window again on her walk around the mansion. The setting sun reflected beautiful pinks and oranges off the dark wood paneling, as she sat down on the bench opposite the window to watch the final moments of the dying sun.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Hank asked her, coming from the dining hall. Jean nodded, but said nothing. "How's Scott doing?" Jean looked up at him without saying a word. He sat down next to her and placed his paw on her shoulder.

"68%, he's at 68 %," she told him. " I saw his chart from this afternoon, some of the results even went up, but now... I thought they would be better. Apocalypse hasn't been active since earlier this afternoon."

"He's more focused on taking over Scott now that he's worn down his immune system," Hank told her. "I guess I need to stay here then," he mumbled to himself. Jean looked at him questioningly. "John and Kitty think they found a pocket of sentinels left over from the battle, and they wanted me to go with them." He looked at Jean for a reaction, but there was none. "I could have Ororo go with them," he offered. "I'm needed here."

"No, she's exhausted from this week. Let her rest. It's okay Hank. I'll be fine," Jean told him.

" I could have someone cover for me," he offered.

"I'll be okay. It's probably better this way actually," she said sadly.

"I'll try to get back as soon as I can."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: What is this a timely update? This chapter is shorter then then last couple, but the next couple of chapters should be longer. I have exams the rest of the week, so the next chapter probably won't be out until the weekend or early next week. As always please review. Constructive criticism is welcome. I can't get any better unless you tell me what I'm doing wrong. Enjoy!

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Chapter 7

Jean sat at the window until the very last speck of light had vanished from the sky. Dinner would be cold by now, and the students would start cleaning up and filing to the common room for tonight's programs.

As Jean found her way to the dining room and sat at the table, she was surprised to still see the majority of the students at the table. Tonight was a mansion favorite: Shepherd's pie. It was only on special occasions that it was prepared, simply because it took so long to make. However, tonight was special, in their mind's Apocalypse was gone. Once again everyone could rest easy.

As Jean scooped the food onto her plate, she caught a stray thought from one of the students. _I wonder how Mr. Summers is doing?_

Jean tried to put it out of her mind. She knew the news would travel around the mansion. Eventually the students would have to find out. When her emotions weren't in check Jean would always catch pieces of conversations that she didn't mean to, but as long as she kept calm-

_And apocalypse is possessing him._

Jean closed her eyes for a moment and tried to calm her mind. She knew the voices would only get worse if she didn't.

_I wonder how bad he actually is?_

_ No Math test on Monday. Yes!_

Jean scanned the students still remaining at the table. How could anyone be thinking that at a time like this? Jean tried to force herself to eat as she looked around the table once more, but the food felt like tar in her mouth. The voice she heard didn't sound like any of the students at the table or even in the mansion. All of the voices she heard now sounded foreign to her. When several other voices also expressed their joy about missing the math exam Jean decided to stop searching for the culprets. She hated to admitt it, but if she were sixteen she would be thinking the same exact thing right now. Students don't want to be sad about a dying teacher when they can be happy about missing an exam. Even if it is in bad taste, it's still better than thinking about the alternative.

_She looks awful, I wonder if he already died. _

_ If he was already dead, why would she be down here?_

Jean couldn't even tell if she was hearing thoughts or conversations, the voices were getting so loud. She tried to concentrate on eating, but could only nibble at the mountain of food in front of her. After ten minutes and the better part of twenty conversations passed, Jean had finally had enough of the torture, and left the table.

She walked to the infirmary quickly, feeling slightly guilty for leaving Scott there without warning. Before she wanted nothing else but to get away from him, but now she wanted nothing else but to stay near him.

"That was fast," Scott commented as Jean walked over to refill his IV bag. "What did they have, brocoli?"

"Shepard's pie actually," she informed him. "It was good this time too, I was a little worried after Ro's previous experiment. I just wasn't that hungry."

"That still beats jello any day of the week in my book," Scott told her.

"It's still warm, I could go grab you some," she offered.

"Nah...I'm not really hungry either," he told her.

"You really haven't eaten all day, you really should try to have something."

"What am I going to do, starve to death?" he asked darkly. Jean hung up the IV bag, and walked back over to the counter at the side of the room. There was no reason for her to do this, but to give her a moment to regain her composure.

"Sorry, just trying to help," she said giving him a weak smile.

"No, it's-" he shook his head, cutting himself off. "I just would rather you stay here." It was always hard for Jean to read Scott's face. People express so much emotion in their eyes, but Scott had a mask covering all of that. She, however, had known Scott for so long that she found ways to get around that road block. She could hear a single crack in his voice and know he was upset, or a twitch in coner of his mouth and know he was lying. Sometimes Jean wished she didn't know Scott as well as she did because in this moment she knew exactly how he felt. He was scared. He didn't think through the plan and all of it's consequences and now he's the most scared he's ever been in his life.

There was a silence between the two lovers after Scott's comment. Jean looked at him with such anguish. Jean always complained that he knew her better than she knew him even though she was the telepath. Even when she would try to hide how she felt, her expression would betray her and give everything away. This was one of those times. He let out too much, he betrayed himself. Up until this point, Scott had been trying to play everything down. He thought that maybe if he pretended that he wasn't scared or upset that maybe he would spare Jean and the others some of their pain. But now as he grew closer to the inevitable, Scott was having more and more trouble hiding everything. He didn't want to die.

When you have nothing to do all day but to think and wait for your time to come, your mind wanders. All Scott could think about was what the mansion would be like after he was gone. He knew that Ororo and Logan would probably take over as field leaders. Logan already runs the majority of the training sessions, so that wouldn't be that much of a transition, and whenever he had to plan the missions, Scott would always bounce ideas around with Ororo. The X-men would be fine. In that sense at least, he would hardly be missed at all. Scott could tell if he was relieved or upset by that fact. When you leave this world, you want to leave a legacy behind. You don't want people to forget you ever existed the moment you stop. You want to leave an imprssion.

But then there was Jean. Whenever his mind wandered to Jean, he tried to make it change subjects because thinking about her was just too painful. He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to leave anything, but it caused him physical pain to think of leaving her. He wished it would be as easy for her to replace him, as it will be for the team to. He didn't want her to hurt. If Scott could erase her memory of all of this he would. For her, Scott didn't care if he left an impression. He just wanted to cause her as little pain as possible after he was gone.

Scott and Jean sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality couldn't have been more than ten minutes.

Finally Jean spoke, "Ok, I'll stay here. I promise." As she spoke she walked over to his bed again, took off her shoes, and laid next to him. Neither person spoke, but it was comforting for both of them. Jean could feel Scott's heart beat, she didn't care how limited the number of beats might be it was comforting just to know that it was still there. Scott just wanted to know that Jean was still there. The fact that he wasn't alone made him feel as if he could meet his end with some courage.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Sorry I wasn't as timely with this update as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I had exams all of last week, so I wasn't really able to write. The good news is that I already finished the next chapter (It's very short), and that will hopefully be up tomorrow. With any luck I'll be able to get out and additional chapter on Sunday as well. As always, please review. Enjoy!

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Chapter 8

The two lovers lay on the bed for hours gliding between states of consciousness. As night became morning, the bouts of unconsciousness lasted longer until it could finally be called sleeping. Jean started to stir around 3 a.m.. When her sight became clear enough, she groggily walked over to the lab where Ororo stood.

"What are you doing here?" Jean asked, her voice slightly hoarse for being inactive for the last couple of hours.

"I could ask you the same thing," Ororo commented. "Shouldn't you be with Scott?"

Her question unnerved Jean. "How bad are the results?"

"I just put these in, they won't be out for another fifteen minutes," she told Jean.

"Where was he at the last test?"

"He was at about 60 a little before 11."

Jean nodded, and tried to keep her composure. "It won't be long now." Jean tried to keep her voice as emotionless as possible, but her voice cracked, giving her grief away.

Ororo walked to the doorway of the lab where Jean stood and hugged her friend. "We're all here for you," Ororo told her, trying to console her friend as much as possible. "We're all here for you."

As she let go, Jean wiped her eyes. "Great, I'm crying again," Jean said sarcastically. "I feel like I've been crying all day."

"It's understandable," Ororo told her. "Everyone here knows what you're going through. We all love Scott, maybe not as much as you do, but we are all grieving his loss."

"Please stop talking like he's already dead," Jean told her. She paused for a moment before she spoke again. "Before when I was sleeping I had a dream. I dreamt that this was all some nightmare that my mind had come up with. I dreamt that Apocalypse was gone, and that everyone lived. Scott and I got married, had children, and grew old together. Right before I woke up, we were sitting on a porch swing watching our grandchildren play in the front yard. It was years after we retired from the X-men, we must have been in our nineties. Then I woke up, and now I'm further into the nightmare than before I fell asleep."

"I'm sorry Jean, I didn't mean to upset you," Ororo apologized. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm just tired, that's all."

"How long have you been here?" Jean asked her.

"I've been popping in and out since 9. I wanted to give you two your privacy, but Hank asked me to help out in his absence."

"I told him I would be fine" Jean insisted.

"I know, he was just looking out for you."

"I know," Jean sighed.

Both women looked through the window to Scott in the same moment. Ororo gave Jean a small smile. "He was up earlier. Scott and I had a lovely conversation."

"Really?" Jean asked conversationally.

"About little things, this and that, but he told me to look out for you. I intend on following that order, no matter how much you don't want me to. Besides, he told me if I didn't that he'd haunt me from beyond the grave."

"Scott _would_ threaten that," Jean smiled. She sighed and turned back towards her friend. "You're swaying on your feet 'Ro. Go to bed."

"I'll be fine when I get some coffee in me," she assured Jean.

"And what number cup will that be?" Jean questioned.

"I really haven't had that much yet-" Jean glared at her. "Sixth, it will be my sixth cup."

"You. Bed. Now," Jean told her pointing at the door.

"Hank told me-" Ororo started.

"Hank will be back soon," Jean told her. "If he's not back by morning, I'll have someone wake you up."

Ororo nodded as she left the lab. Jean did not follow, but rather walked over to the machine that had finished processing the results of Scott's most recent tests. Jean skimmed the readout looking for the one number that she really cared about.

"52%...shit." Jean told herself not to get upset. She knew this would come. She knew the number would be lower. Jean had hoped the numbers would even out, but now they were falling faster than ever.

Jean walked out of the lab to the coffee maker. She refused to fall asleep again. She refused to waste anymore of the precious time she had left with Scott. "Coffee already?" Scott asked. "I think this is a record, even for you."

Jean smiled at him as the new batch brewed. "You're up," she commented, slightly surprised.

"How could I not be?" Scott asked as he shifted slightly in his bed. He winced from the pain.

"I'm sorry," Jean told. "I wouldn't have taken so long in there if I had known you were awake."

"I didn't mind, I haven't slept that much at all really," Scott told her.

"You should have woken me up then," she told him. "I wouldn't have minded."

Scott shrugged. "You're cute when you sleep, even if you do snore."

Jean smiled. "Well, I'm not the only one."

The machine behind her stopped brewing, and she poured the coffee into the mug. As she turned back towards Scott his face had changed. He was thinking; Jean could almost see the gears turning in his head. As the gears turned, the air in the room grew heavier. Jean walked back over towards the bed and sat in the chair next to it.

"What's wrong?" she asked, entangling her hand in his.

He turned towards her, and slightly squeezed her hand. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done."

"Scott, I've told you-" Jean started to reassure him.

"No, that's not what I'm talking about," he said shaking his head slightly, "though I apologize for that as well." He paused for a moment. "I'm talking about before that, before all of this. I've been horrible to you this past year, and I'm sorry for that."

Jean was quiet for a moment. She started to shake her head as the tears began to flow again. "You have _nothing_ to apologize for. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me."

"Jean..." Scott let go of her hand and held her face. "I forgave you a long time ago. I just hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me for my actions."

"There is nothing to forgive," she said simply. "Nothing at all."

"But if you two decide to get together af-after I'm de-...gone, you both have my blessing." While Scott harbored some anger towards Logan after the events of the past year, at least she would be with someone who couldn't die on her. "He's a good man."

"We won't get together," Jean assured him.

"I just want you to be happy, as hard as that might be for you. Just because I will be gone doesn't mean you have to stop living as well," he told her.

"Scott please..." she begged as she let out a sob. "I don't want to talk about after." Jean was barely able to get the words about.

Scott nodded, "Ok." He put one of his hands on hers and squeezed.

Both were silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. Jean looked away from him for a moment as she wiped her face, and tried to quiet her sobs. There was so much she wanted to tell Scott, but how could she decide what was most important with such little time left.

"I never cared for him,"Jean said finally as she turned back towards Scott. "I just thought you should know that."

"You liked him," Scott refuted.

"Yes, but I never loved him," she told him. "I've never loved anybody but you. I don't think I can."

"You will," Scott told her smiling sadly. Another cry escaped Jean. "I'm sorry, I promised I wouldn't talk about..." His voice trailed off as he saw she was no longer looking at him, but using all of her self control to hold in her tears.

Scott used all of his strength to sit up in the bed. He hadn't realized how drained of energy he was until now. He refused, however, to let Jean see this weakness. Not when they were so close to the end. _It's okay,_ Scott told her telepathically.

_It's not okay, _she told him shaking her head. _I'm a wreck. I'm suppose to be here to make you feel better, but instead I'm just here blubbering._

_ I'm glad you're not pretending to be all right_, he told her truthfully. Jean looked at him confused. _At least I know you don't hate me after all of this. For taking Cable's place, all of it._

"I could never hate you," Jean told him. Scott opened his arms slightly inviting her to join him. Jean scooted from the chair to the bed, and fell into his arms. She gave him a peck on cheek, and clung to him for dear life, never wanting to let go.

_Jean, I need to see you in my office,_ The Professor contacted her telepathically.

Jean's grip on Scott loosened slightly. _I'll be right there._

As Jean stood back up Scott looked at her questioningly. "It was the Professor. I have to go," Jean told him. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Scott nodded and gave her a small smile.

As Jean walked to the Professor's office she tried to fix herself up the best she could. She attempted to remove the make up that ran down her face, and fix her hair that was flying every which way. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her sweater and skirt, but you could still tell that she slept in them.

Eventually Jean reached his office and opened the door. He was wearing the same suit as he wore the previous day. "I'm surprised you're still here," she commented.

"I couldn't sleep," the Professor told her. "It's been a hard day for all of us." Jean nodded in agreement. The Professor swallowed, as if the words he was going to say next were caught in his throat. "Jean, you know why I called you down here." The truth was until this moment, it hadn't hit her. She didn't even think about it. Jean had no idea why The Professor called her to his office. Jean thought...she didn't even know what she thought, but never this. The Professor had to look away from her. "Hank still isn't back yet. I'll wake up Ororo."

"But..." Jean started finally finding her voice. "He can last a little longer."

"Jean, it's time," he said in the same steady voice.

"But the latest results..." Jean started.

"I've been monitoring Scott as well in my own way. Scott's growing weaker, and Apocalypse is less than 30 minutes away from taking over."

"Then let him," Jean whispered.

"Jean..." he sighed sadly. "Even if we let Apocalypse take him over, there will be no getting him back. We've seen what he has done to his previous hosts. I don't think any of us want that fate for Scott." Jean didn't speak. "Scott was lost to us the moment Apocalypse decided that he would be his next host." There was a heavy silence in the room, and The Professor understood it as Jean's reluctant acceptance of the events to come. "I need to wake up Ororo."

"Don't," Jean told him. "She's already been down there for the last six hours. Let her rest."

"Hank won't be back until later in the afternoon," he reminded her.

"I know." Jean paused for a moment. "If anyone should do it, it should be someone who loves him."

At first, the Professor thought that this might be another one of Jean's delay tactics. He was about to refuse her request when he saw the look on Jean's face. She was defeated, and for one of the first times, Charles Xavier hated the fact that he won.

"I understand." Jean started to turn around, and open the door as the Professor spoke again. "I'm so sorry for putting you through this." Jean nodded and exited the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter. It was originally part of chapter 8, but I felt as if it should be it's own chapter. I'll hopefully update with the next chapter this weekend or sometime next week. I hope you all enjoy. Please review.

Chapter 9

As soon as the door the the Professor's office close behind her, Jean regretted her decision. How was she suppose to tell the man she loved that she had to kill him? She wished Hank or Ororo or anyone could do it for her, but Jean knew that she would hate the person that killed him. At least now she would only hate herself.

As she walked back to the infirmary, Jean tried to mentally prepare herself for what she had to do. _He'll be out of pain,_ she told herself. Ever since early last night she could see Scott wincing at the slightest movement. He tried to hide the fact that he was growing weaker, but even she was able to notice.

Still she hesitated. Jean knew Scott didn't want to die. Would he try to stop her? If she were in his place, she would try to stop him. She would kick and scream and fight until there was nothing left in her. She would beg him for mercy, anything for another chance. She would make it as hard for him as possible. She knew Scott wouldn't do that; he couldn't be so cruel. He won't fight. He would even tell her "Please don't do this." Scott knew what had to be done. He knew he had to die in order to stop Apocalypse. In all honesty, he would probably just tell her "It's okay Jean, I understand." Scott knew what had to be done, and, as much as Jean hated to admit it, so did she.

Jean stopped at the infirmary door, took a deep breath, and walked inside. "Scott?" she asked. There was no reply. Jean walked closer to him. "Scott?" she whispered. He didn't move. He wasn't awake. Jean breathed a sigh of relief. She wouldn't have to tell him.

Jean walked over to the counter, took a syringe out of the drawer, and started filling it with a lethal dose of morphine. When she turned around, Jean checked again to see if Scott was still asleep. As she walked to his bed she had to keep taking deep breaths in order to keep her composure.

As she sat down next to him, and contacted him telepathically. She hoped that on some level of consciousness it would reach him. _I'm so sorry it has to end this way._ She pulled the cap off of the syringe. _I love you._ She wanted to give him one comforting thought before he passed, but Jean realized it was the first time that she's told him since before they broke up. They had both always alluded to the fact that they still loved one another, but neither ever said the three words.

"I love you too," Scott whispered, turning towards her.

Jean dropped the syringe, and ran out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did I wouldn't be the poor college student that I am.

Author's Note: Sorry, this chapter was harder to write than I though it would be. This is NOT the last chapter of the story. It might take me over a week to update unfortunately because this week and next week I have another round of midterms, and a conference that I'm attending. Sorry for the shorter chapter, but I'll try to get the next one out as soon as I can. The last couple of chapters should be longer. As always please review, constructive criticism is welcome.

Chapter 10

Jean ran several hundred feet down the hall before she collapsed against the wall. _How could he have done that to me? Why did he trick me?_ She thought. Jean knew why. He was trying to be kind. He wasn't tricking her, he was trying to make it easier on her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know why The Professor called her down to his office. He knew what was coming. He lied to her for the same reason she believed him; it would be easier on her.

Jean knew she had to get up and go back in there. It would only be another ten minutes before Apocalypse could take over. She knew that Scott would never forgive her if she let that happen. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself.

Jean pushed herself up, and she walked back to the infirmary. "I have to do this," she whispered to herself, repeating it over and over again, hoping it would somehow convince her that it was actually true. Jean opened the door, and was horrified by the sight in front of her. Scott had a syringe sticking out of his arm. "No!" she screamed. "No, no, God no!" She ran over to the bed. "Scott!"

"I'm still here," he said weakly.

"You Bastard!" she yelled at him, as she kneeled on the floor beside the bed. "Why-"

"Because I knew you couldn't," he told her.

She took the needle out of Scott's arm, and placed it on the floor beside her. "Thank you," she said to him. All her anger vanished as she reached for his hand.

"I love you," Scott told her.

"I love you, too," Jean said giving him a small smile through her tears. Scott gave her a weak smile, and she kissed him on the lips. He was barely able recipricate.

"Stay," he told her.

"I'm here," she said squeezing her hand slightly, but his grip slackened.

It only look another minute for Scott to stop breathing, but still Jean stayed...just in case.

* * *

It was sunrise when Logan found Jean in the infirmary, still sitting next to Scott, still holding his hand. At first he walked by the window, not noticing that anything was wrong, but his gut told him to turn back, that something wasn't right. Scott was colorless. He was dead.

As Logan entered the infirmary, Jean looked up. Her face was perfectly dry. "I'm so sorry Jean," he told her.

She nodded. "He didn't want to be alone," she said. "So I stayed. How could I leave him?" she asked Logan. "I've left him so many times before. How could I leave him now?"

Logan nodded, not knowing how to answer. "He's gone," Logan told her. She nodded, but didn't move. "Jean?" she looked up at him. "This isn't your fault." She nodded. "Everyone knows that. Everyone knows you had to do it."

"I didn't do anything, Logan," she told him. "I was too cowardly. I was going to ruin everything. He knew I couldn't do it. So he..." Jean couldn't get the words out. Her face contorted in pain and grief. "He-"

"It's okay," Logan interrupted. "I...I know what you're trying to say." He paused for a moment. "How long have you been sitting here Jean?"

"A little past four," she told him.

Logan tried to think of the best way to phrase his next sentence. "Should you...shouldn't you get some sleep? You've had a long night." Jean shook her head violently. "Why not?"

"I...I can't leave him," she told him, tears were starting to role down her face again. "He asked me to stay."

"He didn't mean like this, Jean," Logan told Jean, walking slightly closer to her.

"How do you know?" she questioned darkly.

"I don't," he replied. "Not for sure, anyway." He paused. "I know one thing though. He loved you, and a guy that loved you that much wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. He's gone. You don't need to be here anymore."

"Shut up," Jean told him, finally cracking. "Please just shut up." Logan noticed her grip on Scott's hand loosened.

"Come on Jean," Logan said trying to get her to stand up. "You've been up all night." He grabbed one of her hands and pulled her up. Jean didn't fight against Logan, but she didn't help him either; she just felt like dead weight. "Get a couple hours rest, and you'll feel better," he told her.

"Liar," she told him, walking to the door, not wanting to look back at Scott.

"Yeah, probably," Logan agreed.

"I like being numb," she told him. "It's better than the alternative."

Logan walked Jean to her room in silence. He had no idea what to tell her. He was never good with emotions. He never knew what to say. When he said anything, he usually just ended up hurting the person more. So Logan stayed silent. Jean had had enough pain for one day.

When they finally reached her room, Logan opened the door for her. "I'll have someone check on you in a little while. Try to get some rest." Even after Logan left, Jean had a hard time entering the room. It still smelled like Scott. One of Scott's dress shirts still hung on the chair, waiting to be ironed. A pair of shoes he had kicked off before collapsing in bed four nights ago still sat next to the nightstand.

Jean sighed as she crossed into the sacred space. She slipped off her heels as she entered the room and fell onto the bed. When she closed her eyes, it almost felt as if he were still next to her, but when she opened them, there was nothing. She knew he wouldn't be there, but she still hoped.

Everything in the room reminded her of him. On the nightstand beside her sat a photo of her and Scott with his grandparents in Anchorage last Christmas. They looked so genuinely happy; they didn't have a care in the world. Neither had any idea what a living hell the next year would be for both of them. The picture was taken back when Jean and Scott still thought they had a future together.

Jean had to roll over away from the photo. It was too painful of a reminder of a future that could never be. She scooted over to what had always been Scott's side of the bed, but she guessed it didn't matter now. She never liked Scott's pillow. She would sometimes use it when he was on overnight missions without her, but she never liked it. It was too flat, too firm. It smelled of his greasy hair gel, and his much too strong cologne. She never liked his pillow, but she clung to it as she drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: I'm sorry for the late update. I meant to get this out late last week, but unfortunately I got the flu, and it took me this long to not be bed ridden. Anyway, enough about me, my present to you all is an extra long chapter. I'm not sure if it's made clear enough by the chapter, but Alex's girl friend Lorna died on a mission with the X-men. This caused Alex to leave the X-men and move to Hawaii. If anything else needs to be clarified, let me know. I was very sick while writing the majority of this chapter. The final chapter should be up by the beginning of next week. As always please review. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 11

Jean woke up still hugging Scott's pillow. Her wet eyes and wet pillow indicated that she had been crying, but Jean couldn't remember the dream she had just escaped from. She didn't try very hard in all honesty, for Jean knew it would be better forgotten.

She wiped her eyes as she sat up, and opened the curtains. The sky was dark. At first, Jean thought she had slept into the night, but one look at the clock told her otherwise. It was barely past noon. Dark gray rain clouds blocked out the sun. Whether or not this phenomena was natural or Ororo's doing, it seemed oddly fitting that the day would be miserable outside as well.

Jean sat back down on the bed. She debated whether or not to leave the room. Everyone would know by now. If the students' thoughts were that hard to keep out last night, what would they be like now? Right now she was far enough away from everyone that she only had her own emotions to deal with. That was hard enough, she didn't know if she would be able to handle everyone else's grief on top of hers.

Jean fell back onto the bed, and closed her eyes. Her eyes couldn't have been shut for more than a couple of minutes when a voice came through her mind. _Get up,_ it told her. Her eyes darted open. She had no idea of the voice's origin. It didn't feel like anyone trying to contact her telepathically. It wasn't someone else's thought seeping in either. The voice sounded like her own. Maybe Jean was finally developing the 'little voice in her head' that everyone had always told her about. "Fine," she sighed as she grudgingly lifted herself out of the bed.

Jean walked herself over to the closet, trying to ignore Scott's side, to find something presentable to change into. Maybe if she looked all right, people would actually believe she was. Grabbing the first items she saw, she changed into a simple plum colored sweater and jeans.

Jean took a deep breath before opening to door, trying to prepare herself for the onslaught of emotions. However, there was barely a noticeable difference as Jean left the safety of what was now her room, and ventured down the hall. Jean could already feel a headache forming from the lack of food. She had been so concerned with taking care of Scott yesterday that anything for herself was of less importance. Jean knew she had to get something in her system before the headache got worse, and the voices grew harder to keep out.

As Jean entered the kitchen Kitty and Ororo were cooking lunch for some of the younger students. "You're up," Ororo commented.

Jean nodded, "Barely." She paused for a moment while she looked through the cabinets. "There's nothing here," she sighed. "Do you mind if I have some of that?"

Kitty's face contorted in annoyance. "I told Logan when he went out this morning that we needed groceries."

"You really think Logan's going to do a grocery run?" Jean questioned. "You're giving him more credit than I would."

"Who else was going to do it?" Kitty asked her as she strained the noodles in the sink. Ororo glared at her. "Sorry. Still not used to..." her voice trailed off. Scott used to do the grocery runs most weeks. All the adults were suppose to split the chore evenly, but most of them found someway to get out of it, leaving it to Scott.

"I'll do it," Jean told them without thinking.

"Really, Jean it's all right," Ororo told her. "We can find someone else to do it. You need your rest. I'm sure Bobby would love to get permission to use the car. It's not as if we'll all starve if it doesn't get done until tomorrow."

"People keep telling me to sleep as if that would somehow make everything easier. I'm going to have to face it eventually. What I need is to keep busy," Jean said. "I'll go after I eat."

Both women nodded, not wanting to harp on the subject anymore. "I meant to check on you this morning, but you were already sleeping. I didn't want to disturb you if I didn't have to," Ororo said apologetically.

"I'm glad you didn't. I'm fine, 'Ro, really," Jean paused for a moment, and rethought her statement. "Okay, I'm not fine, but I'm all right for now. I'm as good as can be expected. Right now I just want food. Can one of you get me when it's done?"

Kitty nodded as Jean left the kitchen and went into the dining room where several students were waiting for their next meal. Jean prepared herself for the flood of thoughts and emotions, but surprisingly there were none. The mood in the room was somber, but even someone who wasn't a telepath would be able to tell that.

The students around her were rather quiet, but she was able to gather that they were told that Scott passed in the middle of night due to injuries sustained on the mission. Jean was thankful for whoever made up that lie. The students didn't need to know the truth. Even the older students who were on the mission didn't know what actually happened. They all knew he was possessed, but Jean had no idea what lie they were told. Only Jean and Logan knew the truth. Who was she kidding? The Professor probably knew as well. She cringed at his name. Anger flooded though Jean, as the glass in front of her started to shake. Jean realized what she was doing before any of the other students at the table noticed, and took deep breaths until the glass stopped vibrating. She wouldn't be able to hate him forever, but for now she held onto her anger.

_I wish someone told us how bad he was hurt_, one of the students thought. _I would have liked to say goodbye. _Jean looked around the table, as suddenly her former anger dissipated. The thought originated from the newest student who had only come to the mansion two weeks ago. Jean hadn't even been able to learn his name yet. All she knew was that he could turn invisible. Scott had helped him get used to the routine at the school in his first week here. Jean gave the boy a small smile. _Crap, she's the telepath, isn't she?_ He thought looking away from her quickly. Jean laughed to herself as lunch was brought out.

After her first day without Scott, Jean thought that the pain might actually be manageable. After that night the numbness wore off, however, all that was left was the pain. The days and nights grew longer with each passing day. Time itself seemed to slow down just so Jean could feel the pain a little longer. Sleep was no longer a respite from the pain. When Jean did actually manage to fall asleep, images of Scott plagued her unconsciousness.

The dream changed every night, but in each he always asked her, "Why didn't you save me?" The question was like a knife to the chest. Jean always tried and failed to answer it, but still she woke up sobbing. She envied when she used to be able to have dreams that she couldn't remember.

Jean spent a little over a week in this state when The Professor found her in her office after one of her classes.

Jean didn't greet him as he rolled himself into the office, she just stared at him until he spoke. "I heard you were teaching again," The Professor told her. "That's good."

Jean shrugged. "I needed to do something besides sitting around and moping." Neither spoke for a moment, as Jean began to stare at him again waiting for him to speak. "Is there a reason why you came to see me or...?" Jean tried to keep her voice as cordial as possible, but she knew The Professor could sense the anger behind it.

" I haven't seen you since..."

"Since you told me I had to kill my boyfriend?" Jean finished. The fake courtesy in her voice had vanished. "Yes, I'm aware of that," she told him, her voice resembling venom.

The Professor closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He was not used to being so disliked by anyone, especially Jean. So he pretended not to notice her disdain for him. "I heard that you were trying to put together a funeral for Scott," The Professor started. They both winced slightly at his name. "I came here to lend a hand...if you wanted it," he added.

Jean stared at the man for a moment, not knowing how to answer. She could tell The Professor was in as much pain as she was, so she let the wall break. "I'm almost done actually," Jean said. "I've bought the flowers, called the pastor-" she stopped mid-sentence. "I thought it would be fitting if he was buried here on mansion grounds. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," the Professor told her. "I wouldn't expect anything else."

"Good," Jean smiled at him, but it soon faded. "Now I just have to call his family." There was a combination of terror and grief in her eyes. "Alex and his grandparents don't know yet. I was stupid for saving the hardest ones for last."

"You've already done so much of the work, Jean. I could call them if you'd like," The Professor offered.

Jean shook her head. "It doesn't feel right just passing off the duty to you."

"Alex never did like me much," The Professor commented remembering the unkind words exchanged when Alex left the X-men.

Jean smiled. "I'll call Alex, if you want to call his grandparents," she offered.

The Professor nodded. "Good." He started to turn his chair around and wheel himself out her office. "Is there anything else you need me to do?" he asked her.

Jean shook her head. "No, everything is all set now. Thank you." She was genuinely thankful that he had came to see her. Part of her was still angry at him, but now it all seemed so stupid. Scott's death wasn't The Professor's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault.

"I'm sorry for the way that I've treated you," Jean apologized. "I was blaming you for something that wasn't your fault."

"I deserve much worse," The Professor told her, "but thank you."

"No you don't," Jean said as the Professor exited the office.

Jean sighed as she picked up the phone and started to dial Alex's number, but hung up immediately after the phone started to ring. She had already called dozens of people, how come Alex was so much harder? Before Jean knew what she was doing she dialed another number.

"Hello," a voice answered. It was too late to hang up, but she deserved to know as much as everyone else did.

"Hi, Emma, it's Jean," Jean greeted her as nicely as she possibly could given their history.

"Oh...you..." Emma responded coldly.

Jean waited a moment to see if Emma planned on saying more, but when it was evident she was waiting for Jean to speak, she started, "Well, I'm sorry to bug you, but-"

"Oh, let me guess, you called to rub it in my face that you and Scott are getting married. How wonderful," Emma told her sarcastically. Jean had to admit that if the situation were different and she were inviting people to her wedding, Emma probably would have been on the top of her list for that exact reason. It surprised Jean how much the two women though alike sometimes. "Well, I wish you two the best," she said insincerely, "but I really must be going."

"I'm not calling about any wedding, Emma," Jean said quickly before Emma hung up. "I'm actually calling to let you know that Scott passed away last week." There was a long pause, when Jean finally spoke again. "His funeral is on Thursday if you would like to attend."

"In New York?" Emma asked, her voice weak.

"Yes, here at the mansion," Jean clarified.

"I would love to pay my respects, but unfortunately I'm going to be at a conference in Los Angeles for the rest of the week. I can't get out of it now," she told Jean sounding genuinely disappointed.

"It's okay, I understand," Jean told her. She was slightly relieved that Emma wouldn't be at the funeral. Emma brought up too many bad memories in Jean for her to nice to Emma for the entire day. It was better that they grieve separately.

"Well, thank you for calling, but I really must be going. I have a client coming in a couple of minutes," she told Jean as she quickly hung up the phone.

Jean was about to hang up the phone as well, when she noticed the lack of a dial tone on the other end. Emma must not have hung up the phone correctly in her rush. Jean swore she heard a faint crying on the other end of the line. It could have been Jean's imagination, or maybe Emma wasn't as heartless as she tried to make others believe. Maybe everything Scott had told Jean about Emma wasn't a lie; maybe the bitch was human after all. "It's okay, I miss him too," Jean said as she hung of the phone.

Jean stared at the phone again, but she wasn't ready to face Alex yet. She had known Alex almost as long she knew Scott. Alex was like a brother to her, and now she was going to break his heart.

Jean got up and paced the room for a moment, and decided to erase the notes she put up on the chalkboard for Rogue who had come in to get extra help on mitosis. As Jean erased the board she looked out the window of the closed door and across the hall. Scott's office was across the hall from hers. It was probably one of The Professor's bigger lapses in judgment putting their offices so close to one another. There was a reason why it took them so long to return students' papers. For the past couple of months it was a game between the two the distract the other. Scott loved to sing Battle of the Hymn Republic in French in his mind. Scott only took two years of French, and that was over a decade ago. He was awful, which is why he always won. He would leave Jean laughing hysterically, while he would be sitting quietly at his desk look as stern as he possibly could manage. "I give up," she would tell him as she took the papers back up to their room. Out of the corner of her eye Jean could usually Scott smile, breaking the facade. _I saw that,_ she would tell him, but it didn't matter because he still won.

Jean hadn't had the heart to clean out his office yet. No one had. Jean hadn't cleaned out anything of Scott's yet. It seemed too permanent. Jean knew he was dead; that he was gone forever, but something still tugged at her anytime the thought crossed her mind. _Not yet,_ she would tell herself. _Not yet. _

She had stalled long enough. Alex needed to know. He had lived the past week in ignorant bliss of his brother's fate, but he deserved to know the truth.

As the phone rang, Jean's heart pounded faster until finally Alex picked up. "Hey, Jean," he answered.

"Hi, Alex," Jean responded.

"How's Scott doing?" Alex asked. Jean's heart sank. How did he know? "It was probably nothing, but he called me last week. He didn't sound to good, said he got pretty beat up in the battle with Apocalypse."

"He called you?" Jean asked. Her own voice sounded foreign to her. "What did he say?"

"Nothing much," Alex shrugged. "He was being the usual Scott. He asked me how Hawaii was, and told me I was an idiot for leaving you guys. He told me I should give it another go, but I don't know if I could after what happened to Lorna." Alex's voice grew low, to the point where her name was almost unrecognizable. Now Alex and Jean had both lost someone to the team.

"You should give it another go," Jean choked out. She didn't even notice she was crying until now.

"Jean?" Alex asked. "Jean, what's wrong? What happened to him?" She could hear the panic in Alex's voice. He already knew the answer.

"He died," Jean told him. "Scott died last week."

"I knew something was wrong. I knew he was lying to me," Alex said quickly. She could hear the regret in his voice. "He wouldn't tell me what was wrong." Alex paused. "What happened?" He asked her trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.

Jean didn't even hesitate before she spoke to Alex. She couldn't tell him the truth. No one needed to know the real way Scott died. "You were right. Scott was hurt in the battle against Apocalypse. We couldn't save him."

"You're lying," Alex told her. "Scott and I, we could always tell when you were lying. Don't lie to me now Jean."

"Alex, believe me when I say you don't want to know the truth. I wish I could believe the lie. I wish I didn't know what really happened," Jean told him.

"He was my brother," Alex said firmly. "I want know what happened to him. I don't care if I'll regret know later. I deserve to know what happened to my brother."

"Alex, please..." Jean begged. Alex said nothing. He was right. He deserved to know the truth. She cleared her throat and began, "We had finally gotten a location on Apocalypse. It was the first lead in a month, so we all went in guns blazing. Apparently, Apocalypse found Cable just as his host was running out." Jean paused for a moment wondering if she should clarify.

"I know who Cable is," Alex told her.

Jean nodded and continued. "Apocalypse tried to take over Cable, but Scott found them in the mean time, and because he was Scott, he offered himself instead. Apocalypse decided to take Scott as a host. We took him back to the mansion and tried to do everything we could for him. The Professor contacted everyone he knew to try to find a solution, but there was one that kept popping up again and again. Scott knew it was the only solution as well, but I was too suborn to acknowledge that fact. We – we had to kill him." It felt as if something was caught in her throat, but still Jean continued. Alex deserved to know the truth. "We gave Scott as much time as we could before we risked Apocalypse taking over."

There was a silence between the two for a moment. "You didn't answer my question," Alex told her, his voice trembling. "How did it happen?"

"It was a lethal dose of morphine. I was with him when it happened, it only took a minute or so. He wasn't in any pain," Jean said trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

"And that stopped him, that stopped Apocalypse?" Alex asked.

"To our knowledge," Jean told him honestly. "There hasn't been anymore sitings. We still have people looking for signs of his return, but we're hopeful that he's finally gone for good."

"My brother died saving the world. How many people can say that?" Alex asked rhetorically.

"We're having a funeral for him on Thursday if you'd like to come. It's going to be at the mansion," Jean said.

Alex sighed, " I just need to see if I can get a plane ticket to New York."

"Alex, if you can't find anything, we would be more than happy to send the blackbird to pick you up."

"Thank you, Jean," Alex told her.

"I'll see you Thursday."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is why I am a poor college student.

Author's Note: Last Chapter. Woot! Sorry it took me longer to get up than expected, finals week was killer, but thankfully I have my last one tomorrow. Also withing the next couple of days I'll be fixing the massive amount of grammatical errors in the previous chapter. Like I said at the time I had a really bad case of the flu. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the fic. As always please review, constructive criticism is welcomed!

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Chapter 12

It was the day Jean had been dreading for the past week. As Jean sat in her empty classroom, she recited the eulogy that she would have to read later that day. Jean held the paper in her hands, but the truth was that by now she's recited the words so many times that she had it memorized several hours ago. That wasn't why she kept reading the words. She hoped with practice that she would be able to read it with some sense of composure, of dignity. It wasn't working because still every time she said his name, it still caught in her throat. If she couldn't say his name now, how was she suppose to say it with Scott's grandparents looking up at her? How was she suppose to say it with Alex looking up at her? She refused to break down during it. She could cry later. She could get upset when she was alone, but for right now she had to be strong. She refused to let anyone see her break.

Realizing that her attempts to devoid the words of any emotion was fruitless, Jean put the paper back down on the desk and looked out the window to the courtyard below. Hank supervised, while several of the older students helped to set up the chairs and the flowers for the ceremony. Jean was thankful for all the help everyone offered her, but part of her felt guilty for not doing everything herself. The same part of her wished that someone would let her do something instead of waiting around for the next four hours.

Jean felt the air rush into the room as the door opened, but didn't turn around. "Go away, 'Ro. I told you, I'm fine." Jean continued to watch the activity below as John and Bobby helped to carry over the podium to it's designated spot.

There were several moments of silence, but the door didn't close. "It's not Ororo."

Jean closed her eyes. "No."

"I'm sorry?" Jean turned towards the source of the voice to confirm what she had just heard. Scott stood in the doorway of the classroom. He looked perfect. Not withered like the Scott she saw die in a hospital bed a week ago, but perfect like the Scott she had known for over a decade.

Jean turned away from him. She couldn't think straight while looking at him."No, you're not here," she told him. "You can't be here. You're not real. You're-"

"Jean, I came back," his voice was so happy, but Jean couldn't accept it.

"No, you're not. You're dead. You died." Jean turned her head over her shoulder to make sure Scott was still there, but then had to close her eyes. It was too painful for her to look at him. "This is just some defense mechanism or hallucination brought on by grief. I could be dreaming." She paused. "I'm probably just dreaming."

"You're not dreaming, Jean." His voice had lost it's previous joy, and now he just wanted her to belief him. "Read my mind. Your powers don't work when you're sleeping."

"No," she told him. This scene was all too familiar to her. "Because I've had this dream for the past week, and this is the part where I wake up. This is the part where I wake up, and you're not there...again. I don't want to wake up yet," she told him.

"Jean, you're not asleep," Scott said walking towards her. He tried to put his arms around her, but she slipped from his grasp. "Aren't you happy I'm back?" The pain in his voice was unbearable. This was never in her dream before.

"I can't be happy, Scott," she told him truthfully. "I can't be happy because I know this isn't possible. Even if it was, nothing this good has ever happened to me before. Why should it start now?"

Scott nodded, knowing that Jean had been through too much in the course of her life to readily believe a miracle of this magnitude could actually occur. "Okay, you need time," he stated simply. "I'm going to inform The Professor that I'm back, and see if I can find my family on the way." Jean nodded and gave him a small smile as he left the room.

As Jean saw him vanish from the doorway, part of her doubted if she would ever see him again. Still, when she looked back to the eulogy on her desk, it seemed pointless to go over it again. Jean was about to check on the progress the boys were making outside, when she heard a loud thud come from the hallway.

Jean ran out of the room and several hundred feet down the hall before she found the source of the noise. There was a portrait on the ground, and where it once hang, Alex was pinning Scott to a wall.

"You Asshole!" Alex shouted at him. "How could you do that to us?" There was a combination of punching a hugging. "We thought you were dead!" At first, Jean thought she should break the two up, but she knew exactly what Alex was going through, so she let them be.

"I know. I'm sorry," Scott attempted to say soothingly.

"Oh 'you're sorry," Alex mocked him. "Because of course that makes everything all better. Do you know what we've been through?" Alex had stopped punching, but grabbed the collar of Scott's shirt instead.

"No, I don't pretend to know, but would you rather the alternative?" Scott asked him. Alex's grip on Scott's shirt slackened.

"Mr. Summers!" Jubilee exclaimed as she ran down the hall. "You're back!"

Jean didn't know quite how it happened, but somehow in all the commotion with Alex, Scott, Jubilee, and the other students that were now filtering in from adjacent classrooms, Jean ended up sitting on the floor with her hands around her knees and sobbing hysterically.

Seeing Jean, Scott broke from Alex's grasp, and plopped down next to her. "Jean?" he asked. There was no coherent reply. "Jean?" he asked again. "Are you okay?"

"You were dead," she stated between sobs, "but now you're not." Scott nodded.

"That's about the gist of it," Scott told her. "I'm glad you finally started believing me."

Scott was about to place his arm around her, but Jean's crying gave way to shouting, "You asshole! I thought you were dead." The crowd that previously started to gather, realized they were intruding on what was meant to be a private conversation, and began to disperse. Scott nodded to Alex, signaling him to tell the rest of their family of his return. "I thought I'd never hold you again. Do you know the hell you put me through, that you put everyone through?"

"I'll say I'm sorry for the pain I've caused as many times as you want me to," he told her, "but I'm not sorry I came back. I won't apologize for that."

There was a few moments of silence before Jean asked, "How did it happen?"

Scott shrugged. "All I know is that I woke up in a tomb in Egypt immediately after. It took me this long to make enough money to make it back to New York, and get through customs without a passport."

"You could have called us," Jean said, still slightly bitter.

"The Egyptian desert isn't really big on cell phone service."

Jean didn't have a rebuttal for Scott. She was quiet for a couple moments, as she allowed herself to cool down. "Are you okay now? No Apocalypse or anything?"

"Nothing," he told her. "He's completely gone. I was as surprised as you are," he added after seeing her expression. "At first I thought it didn't work, but so far, so good."

Jean nodded. "We should probably do regular neural scans for the time being just to make sure everything is okay."

Scott nodded in agreement as Jean nestled herself under his arm, finally allowing herself to feel joy at his presence. "So, I guess this would be a bad time to ask you to marry me?" he asked her. Jean stared at him, not quite able to comprehend what had just been said. " I had a lot of time to think the past week," he explained. "I lost you once. I never want to do that again."

Jean had trouble forming words. "Yes, bad time. Too soon."

Scott nodded. "Tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.

Jean smiled. "Tomorrow's much better." Scott beamed back at her as he held her tighter. "I'm still mad at you," she reminded him.

Scott nodded. "From you, Jean, I would expect nothing less."

The End


End file.
